Ordinary Ramblings

Ask me something!   Submit   I am everything I wish to be. I am a fighter and a survivor. I am the whisper in your ear that sends shivers down your spine. I'm that thought that keeps you up at night, that itch you can't scratch. I'm unforgettable even if you don't know my name.

jainz:

Woman speaks out against misogynistic abuse and is met with misogynistic abuse from men who believe misogynistic abuse doesn’t exist and that she should stop making them look bad.

(via baronvonmerkens)

— 5 hours ago with 77688 notes
barwellz:

honeybucky:

moriarty:

SPIDERMAN WOULD. SPIDERMAN WOULD

itS BACK

ALWAYS REBLOG.

barwellz:

honeybucky:

moriarty:

SPIDERMAN WOULD. SPIDERMAN WOULD

itS BACK

ALWAYS REBLOG.

(via spaceyiffs)

— 5 hours ago with 1123672 notes
unquietpirate:

curiousgeorgiana:

babstheartist:

themindislimitless:

tw: abuse, rape, domestic violence
feministblackboard:

A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.
The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.
Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types:1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse.2. Sabotaging birth control3. Marital rapeOver 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.
The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.
The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.
One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.
WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?
Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention. Abused women will turn to health care providers long before they will turn to domestic abuse hotlines and organizations. Many women in abusive relationships rely on life saving, affordable care programs such as Title X. It is critical that such places are open and operation when women and children need them so desperately. 


holy fuck im crying.

I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control.  I was on the pill until he found them in my purse. 
I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.
Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo. 
When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.
And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.
I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy. 
I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.

Holy fuck, I’m crying.

Every time this post reaches my feed I feel the need to tell everyone how much Planned Parenthood is truly here for people, especially women. Asking if they can actually call you or if they need to hide their number and appointments is a MANDATORY question on either their questionnaire or in person, and their last few questionnaires I’ve had to take specifically ask if you’ve ever been in any sort of abusive relationship within the last 2 years.
But on top of abusive BF’s and stuff, this can also be a godsend for people with abusive families
Seriously, PP is a company that I will always, always do business with because they’re good people

unquietpirate:

curiousgeorgiana:

babstheartist:

themindislimitless:

tw: abuse, rape, domestic violence

feministblackboard:

A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.

The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.

Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types:
1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse.
2. Sabotaging birth control
3. Marital rape
Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.

The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.

The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.

One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.

WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?

Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention. Abused women will turn to health care providers long before they will turn to domestic abuse hotlines and organizations. Many women in abusive relationships rely on life saving, affordable care programs such as Title X. It is critical that such places are open and operation when women and children need them so desperately.

holy fuck im crying.

I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control.  I was on the pill until he found them in my purse. 

I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.

Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo. 

When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.

And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.

I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy. 

I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.

Holy fuck, I’m crying.

Every time this post reaches my feed I feel the need to tell everyone how much Planned Parenthood is truly here for people, especially women. Asking if they can actually call you or if they need to hide their number and appointments is a MANDATORY question on either their questionnaire or in person, and their last few questionnaires I’ve had to take specifically ask if you’ve ever been in any sort of abusive relationship within the last 2 years.

But on top of abusive BF’s and stuff, this can also be a godsend for people with abusive families

Seriously, PP is a company that I will always, always do business with because they’re good people

(Source: feminist-blackboard, via m3lymbrosia)

— 5 hours ago with 105667 notes
#abuse  #sexual abuse  #planned parenthood 

This why we gotta have conversations with y’all men sometimes

Like y’all straight be out here like “women wouldn’t be at the club unless they wanted our dicks rubbin on them” and then y’all be out here shittin on why we surrounding ourselves with like 20 friends when we go out

— 5 hours ago
madeupmonkeyshit:

ejdivine:

madeupmonkeyshit:

diva-gabrielle:

I HATE when guys do this it’s seriously disgusting and annoying, get the fuck away

Then take ya ass home instead of poppin ya pussy in the middle of the dance floor and hate it when guys tryna dance witchu
You taking up space

She can dance however the hell she wants and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that he respects her personal space.
Tf outta here with that shit

Or she can take her ass home and pussy pop there
Is there a reason why you wanna be seen by everyone? Why you want the attention so gotta dance at the club, gettin freaky in front of everyone? instead of the private confinements of your own home? Where niggas wont dance with you?

Yes you’re right. Instead of going to a place with alcohol and loud music and lights I’m gonna instead play my laptop at 100 and hope my roomies don’t wake up as I sip on water cause the liquor store closes at 6 on a Sunday

madeupmonkeyshit:

ejdivine:

madeupmonkeyshit:

diva-gabrielle:

I HATE when guys do this it’s seriously disgusting and annoying, get the fuck away

Then take ya ass home instead of poppin ya pussy in the middle of the dance floor and hate it when guys tryna dance witchu


You taking up space

She can dance however the hell she wants and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that he respects her personal space.

Tf outta here with that shit

Or she can take her ass home and pussy pop there

Is there a reason why you wanna be seen by everyone? Why you want the attention so gotta dance at the club, gettin freaky in front of everyone? instead of the private confinements of your own home? Where niggas wont dance with you?

Yes you’re right. Instead of going to a place with alcohol and loud music and lights I’m gonna instead play my laptop at 100 and hope my roomies don’t wake up as I sip on water cause the liquor store closes at 6 on a Sunday

— 5 hours ago with 22107 notes

rowdyroughgirl:

blinking-red-light:

"We heard a little girl… GOT SERIOUSLY BURNED!"

this show needs all the awards

(via ruinedchildhood)

— 6 hours ago with 212828 notes